We’ve praised the Filipina lady regularly and vigorously here on FilipinaWives. And why wouldn’t we? Most wonderfully kind, caring and sweet ladies in the world. And most are also hard-working, practical and responsible. An Aussie man who meets and falls in love with a decent Filipina lady is a lucky man indeed.
But then again, she’s a lucky woman too. Most Australian men, despite being a bit rough around the edges, are gentlemen. Hard-working, faithful, and fairly domesticated. Most would rather be at home with their wife and kids than anywhere else, and most have little time for womanisers. The paypacket comes home. Life is usually pretty good for a Filipina wife with an Australian husband.
Take note that of course I’m generalizing here, and also take note that this is NOT a matchmaking introduction. I have no spare husbands here for lonely Filipina ladies, and my wife would be very annoyed at me if I gave myself away! And yes, Australia has some far-from-perfect men too, so please always use your best judgment.
But the main purpose of the article is to explain a few points about what is unique about Australian men, many of which you will see that they differ from Filipino men. And I do this in the interest of helping those existing Australian Filipina couples to understand each other better and hopefully not to HURT each other! I hope this helps.
Australian men are rugged individualists
This will differ between men, of course. But mostly you’ll find Australian men are ruggedly independent and proud of it. We’re used to taking care of ourselves, and definitely not OK about receiving handouts or charity. Most of us would rather go without something that to be indebted to somebody.
It also means that while he will understand when there is genuine need due to poverty, he will not understand begging relatives nor will he understand those lazy tambay relatives who expect to live off charity.
Despite being “tough” in many ways, he probably has a soft heart
Don’t mistake being rugged and masculine with being heartless. Most of us a like big teddybears and will respond well to gentleness and kindness, and you will bring this out in him if you stay gentle and sweet.
Australian men value our ability to provide and to produce
We value ourselves according to what we produce. We take pride in our ability to provide for our families. Having our kids giving us support and/or handouts, even when older? Forget it! We would rather go hungry. We help our kids! They don’t help us!
What this means, ladies, is that even if your man gets older and retires, NEVER make him feel useless. He will already be sensitive about this. If you get a job and you expect him to hang out your panties on the washing line, you may very well crush his spirit. Encourage him to do something, whether it’s making things, repairing things, or even mentoring and advising.
If you want him to be your knight in shining armor, believe in him
My wife is strong and capable, and she knows her own mind. But she also knows me and my capabilities, and she believes in me. She doesn’t nag me. She doesn’t put me down. She does not emasculate or belittle me. Huwag tanggalin ang kanilang pagkalalake. Treat him as your hero, and he will become your hero. You can make him or break him!
Australian men want to be included. Not different, and not elite.
Best thing you can do for an Aussie man? Treat him as an equal! And NEVER treat him as a foreigner, and never let your relatives do it either. Tell your friends and relatives to relax around him, and not call him “Sir David” or whatever his name is. Hospitality is fine, as long as he doesn’t feel excluded.
He will make YOU his Number One, and expects the same in return
NEVER put your Filipino relatives and family ahead of him. You will damage your marriage, possibly beyond repair, if you do this. Don’t let older Filipino relatives override decisions that you made (or should make) as husband and wife. And build the wealth of your new family first and foremost.
He acts with 100% honesty, and expects the same in return
Lies from a spouse are close to unforgivable. So are secrets, especially involving your relatives. Being “shy” is never an excuse. This applies to spying and sneaking too.
He can’t read minds
Australian men are very honest, and will say exactly what they think. And they will expect you to do the same. That means we are very bad at “reading between the lines” and trying to guess what you really mean. Get into the habit of discussing everything directly and clearly without “codes”, otherwise you will end up unhappy and he will end up confused.
He cannot stand tampos, and will never “make malambing”
Tampo is cruel, and it’s childish. Nothing good ever comes from it. If you are using it as childish blackmail to get your own way? Then suggest you grow up quickly. If it’s because you allow a problem to remain in your head, and you can’t take it anymore? See the point above! Discuss it. And discuss it long before you lose control of your behavior. Learn to work together.
And don’t expect him to make malambing (Tagalog for being very very sweet when you’re sorry about something). Learn to speak your mind and learn how to discuss and share feelings.
I hope that helps! And I welcome comments.